youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
