Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
