We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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