Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
