hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
