so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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