So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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