There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
