Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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