Sponge bath it is.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
