Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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