Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
