Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
