And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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