Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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