K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
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