the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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