ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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