Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
