How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
