smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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