"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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