she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
It's never too late to be topless.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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