so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
