Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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