On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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