If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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