My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
