I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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