I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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