I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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