im about as happy as oj after his trial
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
