Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Pooping to opera.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
You left your phone here
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