But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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