Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
