just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Randomize
