THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
