I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
How drunk are you?
Completed.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize