Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
