Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
