No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
