And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
