we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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