Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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