Pappa wants mamma naked
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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