ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize