i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Boobs speak an international language.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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