She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she smelled like a LAN party
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
