i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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