Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
