her vagine was all disorganized.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
