I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I have demons in me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
