Your tits are I can't wait for
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize