sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
