Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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