Are we in a gay sports bar?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
