The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize