it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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