Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
