garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
