can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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