someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
