Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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