Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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