Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
